Every year around new years I think of things that I want to change. Things I want to do different..you know...the typical "new years resolutions" This year was no different. I did not choose the gym, I chose, for me, a more attainable, less frustrating approach.
1) Wear earrings. The dangle-y kind.
I have 5 holes in my ears, I wear small, unnoticeable hoops everyday. They are silver, they go with everything. I never take them out, and most days I forget they are there.
2) Enter everything.
I've never been one to win much. I think mostly I have bad luck, although now this seems to be changing. I figure the odds have to change if I enter everything that inspires me.
This brings us to my post. I have found yet another contest. This time it is for a seat at a workshop, by an amazing photographer Amy Wenzel, and I Heart Faces. Most of these contests out there, or scholarship opportunities want us to dig deep and tell our story. So this is what I must do. Tell my story. Some of you may have heard it, some may think you know it, but this is it, in 600 words or less, this is how I found my passion, and why I love to do what I know I am meant to do.
It was 2002; I was a mother of two small girls. I closed the door on one chapter of my life, wandering what would happen in the weeks to come. I finally made the choice to leave a bad marriage and start a life for my girls.
In high school, I took a photography class. My teacher thought I had "potential" and encouraged me any way he could. I loved being in the darkroom, loosing myself in my photos.
I moved back to Oregon, after my divorce, I had stayed home for many years. At 27, I literally had no skills. My mother knew a photographer who said he'd meet with me. I scrambled to put anything that looked good into some kind of presentation and met with him at his studio.
I'm sure he met with me to humor my mother, but was pleased with what he saw, especially knowing that other than a High School class, I was becoming a self taught photographer.
Over the years I have worked along side many talented and encouraging photographers. I read books, and learned what I could. I ventured the daunting task of studio lighting, with help of a great friend, and decided one day...I WILL be a photographer.
On the advice of a local woman, I made business cards and put a website together. Work was slow, in the beginning and many days I was discouraged thinking this "dream" of mine would never become reality. How many single mothers, barely making it, working full time one day just decide they WILL be a photographer and actually have that happen?
I had to change my thinking. This was not the attitude of a professional, and I was determined to make this happen.
The decision to go full time professional was forced. I was laid off from my job, and the market was scarce.
The strange part is, the whole time; I know someone/thing has been watching out for us. There has not been one day that we aren't blessed by our opportunities.
I have a long way to go, but being able to provide for my family, doing what I love, and in turn blessing other people with meaningful images, has been the best the thing that has happened to us.
I am able to live the life I dreamed of, and only hope that through the years I can continue to do so.
Recently, I stumbled upon Boudoir photography, which has been amazing to watch what has happened through my lens. I've seen women find themselves again, remember they are beautiful, and watch women that never really thought they had any greatness, find it in an hour session. In the beginning of my Boudoir adventure, I was foolish to think I was actually the one making the difference. . What happened, is that these women have actually helped me. They took this self-conscious girl, the one that still thinks of herself as the quiet girl that no one notices, and let me show the world why I'm here. As I strive to convince all of these women they are beautiful, they actually are teaching me.
Everyone I am able to photograph changes me bits at a time. I see myself in them, I realize they are me. We teach each other that feminine beauty is more than skin deep, and everyone has something to give. No matter what size, shape, color, or marital status, each woman is unique, yet we always find a common denominator. We all need to be reminded why we are here...
I love seeing how photography has changed my life, and that of my girls, as well as all of the special families I come in contact with. I know I am blessed, lucky if you will, and I want to continue to live out my dream. I enjoy seeing the world with different eyes now, and instead of wishing I had done things different, I now know I did them just the way they were meant to be. Congratulations to whom ever this opportunity goes to, may you find your passion if you have not already done so, and continue to bless your selves and those around you with your perception of the world.
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